Or am i juz bein too ambitious?
Two weeks has passed yet i'm still stuck at work till late today. Alot has been goin on in my mind. Every day is depressingly long at work. Both mesye n mum are worried for me and i admit that on some days i really thought of droppin it all. The timing for me to be strugglin like tis, seems inappropriate. My classmates are all done with their reports, and i am still stuck at 3 more to go, had no chance at all to do anythin tis week. It's been work, work, work!
I dunno how long tis will go on...Is tis the way to go? A steep learning curve, fast-paced, think-quick research work...is it really for me? Is this a start of somethin great to accomplish? I've always wanted to experience the challenges of research work, and right now...i am given the chance to do what i have always wanted to do...research on tumour genes,puttin all that i knew before to full use...DNA work, protein work...tissue culture even...but all these goin on simultaneously, it's such a major struggle, my brain doesn't seem to be workin either and man it pains me to leave my mum all alone at home when she comes back from work and waitin for me to come home almost every nite. It pains me too that mesye has to put in extra care for me yet i cannot spare much time to shower him with TLC. is tis all worth it, i wonder?
Mesye asked me today...What do i get at the end of tis, workin my ass off like tis?
*shrugs*
i could only take a deep breath and hold his hand tight...
and so my struggle continues...
can i juz wish that my next entry would be less worrysome?
oh yeah btw, bro Iz, u have a great housewarming! Sorry i can't be there to enjoy the fun with the rest in ur new crib...thanx for invitin me anyways :)
you will reap what u sow one day, insya allah..
ReplyDeletework hard play hard....hehehe
for now it's work HARD. period.
ReplyDeleteMay all your hardwork produce a good thing in the end....take care ok...
ReplyDeletei can only hope n pray for such. take care too elnie...
ReplyDeleteWhenever i am in busy or trouble, i always asked myself why did i ever made this decision in the first place? if the answer is still the same as before, i hang on and move on.
ReplyDeleteanyway there are ups and downs. as alicia key sings the karma, what goes up must comes down.. so.. u will be up soon!
jiayou!!
=)
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying this job is not for you, my concern is you working the long hours, issit appropriate?
You will always have my support no matter what ur decision is. I dont want u to give in but i dont want you to be overworked and stressed either. but know that i am here for you at the end of the day =).
leocs: oh babe, thanx for ur advise!
ReplyDeleteiyuan: nah dat is juz what i question myself, i noe u r concerned abt the overworkin n pressure i am goin thru...i'm really touched. see lah early mornin make me tear *smiles*
there's this term in bahasa tat goes "bersusah susah dahulu, bersenang senang kemudian". with you working hard now, insya allah u'll know how to work smart later!
ReplyDeletehang on there sis....
ReplyDelete*hugs*
hang in there cuzzin..good things are never easy to get..
ReplyDeleteu'll have ur good times soon enuff..
n im so missin u..
*hugs*
u'll soon bear the fruit of ur hard labour eh (sound macam tak betul gitu my engrish hehe..) anyway...banyak doa eh..and if possible (i ne its hard) get enuff sleep and eat well. pop in a few supplements to help u energise. im taking essence of chicken now! hehe...
ReplyDeleteHang on girl. It might be a tough, up-hill climb at the moment.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sure YOU can do it!
Insya-Allah!
hey dearie.. do not give up yet. this is only a time of getting use to doing what you have been doing full time. i guess its juz the teething period. can be quite a painful experience.. but soon u'll be glad that you have teeth. *big hugssss* Cheers!
ReplyDelete*big-hugz* u can do it girl... as everyone says its still early yet. only natural to feel overwhelmed when trying to settle into your own working rhythm. dun be so hard on yourself okays... take care...
ReplyDeleteiyuan-san: nice song...
thanx for all the encouragement my dears :)
ReplyDeleteoh wiwi, thanx for the supplement suggestion, yeah i should get em!
can u get a grievance extension? its always a way to take your time so that u can finish your work in the best way possible. A friend of mine got grievance allowance for her thesis for a year.
ReplyDeletewell, for one thing, you should be thankful because u got what u always wanted. not everyone gets what they want. give urself a year or two, then u see what's the best for u. in life, its not just about work hard and play hard but pray hard as well. alright.. u'll get through it..
ReplyDeleteeminozy: grievance allowance? i've given abt 2weeks extension...time's runnin out. i wanna be a graduate tis july! gotta slog it out, no matter i guess
ReplyDeletenorhafi: yeah hafi, i am considered very lucky in that sense. prayin more than i normally do too, for extra boost of strength and patience in facin tis difficult times...
i think everyone can get what they want at the end of the day if you believe and work hard for it. luck is part of it too. Most of it is a matter of timing... now or later. I am a firm believer in that belief! :) chin up sheila....
ReplyDeleteHey Sophie, just giving you a word of advice. Seems like this is not the time for you to go into research work yet considering what you had gone through just recently. If you really find your work too taxing and have no time for your family and boyfriend, u can always quite and find a new job. Ask yourself if this job is what you really want? Don't give yourself too much pressure in the first place as you still have to consider your studies which you have put in so much effort in the pass few years and failing just becos you can't do well in your reports is really not worth it. I'am really afraid to see you suffering from depression and exhaustion as time goes by, and most importantly, ur health.
ReplyDeleteIs it really worth it giving ur time in work rather than in family and friends? Think about it.
Hey babe...i cant sae i noe exactly how u r feeling...if i do den i'll lying... bt rmbr even after the heaviest storm the birds will fly out singing... life is such bt u'll get ur rewards sum dae.... n dee told me once b4...there's alwaz rainbow after a thunderstorm so my fren hang in there....u'll will go thru dis....we will all be holding ur hands tight...walking thru dis wif u....
ReplyDeleteHey babe...i cant sae i noe exactly how u r feeling...if i do den i'll lying... bt rmbr even after the heaviest storm the birds will fly out singing... life is such bt u'll get ur rewards sum dae.... n dee told me once b4...there's alwaz rainbow after a thunderstorm so my fren hang in there....u'll will go thru dis....we will all be holding ur hands tight...walking thru dis wif u....
ReplyDeleteBloody wei wei i aredy put song u also wanna put then 2 songs play together?!
ReplyDeletetsk tsk...LoL
*hugs sophie tite2* ... we go for icecream soon k...maybe meet our boyprens ben n jerry?
ReplyDeleteWho?! She got another boypren!?? Wher is he lemme smack him and give him the gd old Rock Bottom! Do ya smeeeeeeelll what The Rock is cookin'~~
ReplyDeleteK being an ass i know...=)
wah kao....i duno ar u put song...onli after i send...hehe....bleh n u noe i dun do dis often....so ...
ReplyDelete*HuGgies to Cuzzie SopHie*
ReplyDeleteTake Good care Cuz!