Tuesday 22 September 2015

Buzzed

Whoa the months of May to September have been a blur. Since the last few days of serving iddah, I felt that I have been truly blessed. To be firstly reacquainted with an old friend, whom in my childhood & early teens, was my companion to & from madrasah. Now we are learning more about each other & loving each other in clandestine ways. Alhamdulillah for tis unexpected twist in life for I was resigned initially to be single for life till ABS came along.

Next would definitely be the start of finding a new career path. From a part-timer of mainly washing vases and conditioning flowers, the boss found potential to have me work as an event/marketing/operation executive who runs around trying to keep her shop in order and ensure events are to be runnin smoothly. And the first project I had to "babysit" was a five-figure one that finally was over last week end! Masya Allah...everything had to be tip top and have a high-end clean finishing touch. I pray real hard to pull off tis and Alhamdulillah, we did it pretty well. It was crazy tiring with lots of gettin things together. I have learnt so much about communicating and had a lot of observations & wising up to do. 

Right now, despite feeling like a small junior fry, I know I can do better. Reminds me of the recent GE where I finally get to cast my vote. Finally after LKY passed on, we have opposition party to contest with the PAP here in Tanjong Pagar. But of course despite each individual's good backgrounds, being a junior team has its slight disadvantage where people have not yet learn much about you and your capacity & capabilities. You just gotta keep striving to show & reveal your true self & learn more on how to communicate & serve others & with others.

It had been crazy good months. I think I could relax a lil bit more now but not slacken. I will be meetin up my photobooth client today after work. So from junior fry to ladyboss. Why do i love all these juggling? I pray for all to just go well & fall in place in time for me & for all my loved ones. Bismillah.

Monday 30 March 2015

Head's Under Water

The whole of last week kinda felt like what I had to fight off last year. Painful dark sense of loss and gloom. I felt so tired & uninspired. I am not exactly sure if it is really the death of the minister mentor that griped me or maybe what I read about, complicated grief, that suddenly overwhelmed me.

I spent last week totally not looking into work but taking in every day as it comes. I kept crying and I feel like I have done nothing much for those around me as every day I was just fighting myself from crumbling emotionally. That or I was mostly sleeping. Tried to shake off the feeling while exploring Istana Woodneuk & rocking it out at Wall Climbing....yes in those moments, I lost myself but again the melancholy slips in.

Today, I made time to listen to the eulogies by the grandchildren of LKY upon gettin up. Pretty impressive, much admiration, peppered with aspirations & such eloquence. Li Hongyi's just resonated so much to me. He talked about the 3Cs of his Yeye and of his camera. Aren't we such vulnerable & sentimental beings?

I just cannot help reminiscin of times spent with Abah and Iyuan tis past week actually. The men who inspired & stirred my interest in photography & the ones who bought me my cameras. Is it any coincidence that I spent alot of my waking time taking photos instead of craftin or floral jammin? Perhaps it was a way to comfort my loss from death & going through divorce. Truly, I miss them both.

Yet I cannot remain tis way & I shall again, find my way. Mak needs me to be ok. She has been my pillar of strength & I am truly grateful for her still being here. For now perhaps, that should be what truly matter. Her.

And I will always try to remember that in the choices I make & the things I do, to emulate MM as he does the things he do. With Character, Clarity & Conviction....these are values that I shall cultivate of my journey, really hats off to some people who really make it look easy.

Nevertheless I thank God for whatever I am blessed with today, feels like I live a privilege life & may I reflect upon it every day & always give my best back with what I have & share the goodness that I possess.

Alhamdulillah.





Wednesday 18 February 2015

Sunday 15 February 2015

ONE OK ROCK - Heartache [Studio Jam Session]

Of all days/dates in the year for tis to be published.
Tis is definitely one dedicated to you & me.
Be it coincidental or God-incidental.

The question is will you Be my Kenshin?

The Toughest Trial/Triumph

Friday the 13th, 2015. 
D-day.

I was at my toughest. I faced you. I faced the day I dread. I didn't want things to end with you for truly my heart still yearns for you and your return but it is just no longer right any more for me to pine & hope for change when there's too much guilt & self-inflicted shame you corner yourself to.

No matter how I reach out the wall you raise gets higher & higher. You feel like you don't matter when it feels like it is my belief & love for you that does not matter at all instead. You can no longer bring yourself to accept it while i can no longer tolerate your misdeeds.

Whatever holds for us forward, I shall continue prayin for you & lovin you from where I am. I shall not falter & let my whole world crumble by the things I feel mistreated abt. I shall keep breathin, keep goin, keep growin & keep faith.

May you do the same & some day overcome & forget your guilt & find true happiness & gratitude in your heart & be drawn closer to the Almighty. May the Lord grant you strength in your daily battles & tenacity to face & overcome you difficulties.