Friends asked me what is Nafs upon readin my FB status earlier tonite. Ummm as with many Arabic words, it is so easy to describe a whole repertoir of meanings into just ONE word.
The closest explanation for Nafs...is probably Inner Demons, in my term or others may have point it as the ego/self...or hmmm thoughts, feelings and issues that brings about negativity.
There are a bunch of issues happenin ard me right now and really, dealin and facin them and tryin to stay together and be there for my dearest loved ones sometimes bring out the creepiest and bad ass Inner Demons of mine. Feels suffocated, cornered and sometimes plain uncared for going through these issues. I wish not to hurt anyone but sometimes in order not to have myself resentin my loved ones I have no choice but to be emotionally detached from them as well as forgive them and forgive myself.
I seek greater patience and understanding dear Lord to get through my struggles in facin life and people. Keep guidin me dear Lord, for every pain/stress I am going through for I noe there is relief. Remind me to be grateful at all times so that the heart finds peace and contentment. In You I trust for better days ahead, keep faith that there will be blessings despite the issues I have to resolve and have gratitude for the existence of beautiful people and unfolding of events in my life all tis while.
Ameen
Tuesday 10 December 2013
Saturday 7 December 2013
Hijrah
Masya Allah!
4th December was the day that I probably made my bravest decision in my life thus far. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do but it had to be done for my own good.
It has been many many months since the heartache started, many many attempts had been made, many many things unfolded and many many lil lessons learnt that made way to a higher state of emotional & spiritual awakenings.
From it all, I learnt that
1. I CANNOT change anyone without him wantin to change himself or rather, without God willing him to change and be in sync with my thoughts or needs.
2. And what I CAN do is to CHANGE my mindset and BE RESPONSIBLE for how I respond to the person(s) and situations I am involved in. We are us some of us said, the product of our Choices. Either I could choose to be bitter or be better. No doubt these past months were very confusin and tormentin but praise God that I was able to keep faith, seek for guidance and never have I felt more in touch with God and myself than goin through the pains that came with my heart aches.
3. I learnt to listen, reflect and question my needs and be self-reliant though many a times I stumbled and fell and get all upset and panic and felt so lost. Nevertheless hope and faith kept me goin and definitely God's grace and mercy lead the way.
4. Everyday has been a learnin journey with new friendship fostered, dealin with myself and through observations of things that go on ard me. I just cannot help sayin some people and things happened to my life tis year are simply GOD SENT!
5. I felt that God is teachin me a very precious lesson from all these....today it hit me, perhaps all these that happened and those which are still happenin are part of HIJRAH for myself. Hijrah in essence whereby one seeks for a better situation. Tis is thus then my Jihad.
So I shall remind myself here, that I must not lose focus or be gripped again by my nafs to cling on to people and situations that are EMOTIONALLY & PSYCHOLOGICALLY DRAINING. Rather I should focus in puttin my ENERGY into POSITIVE endeavours and gettin myself to PRIORITISE servin the Lord above all else, makin Islam not simply an act of worship but rather embrace it as the way of my life.
Just gotta remember:
"Those who believe, and migrate and strive in Allah’s cause, with their goods and their persons, have the highest rank in the sight of Allah: they are indeed the successful people. Their Lord does give them glad tidings of a Mercy from Himself, of His good pleasure, and of Gardens where enduring pleasure will be theirs: They will dwell therein forever. Verily in Allah’s presence is a reward, the greatest (of all)." (Al-Tawbah 9: 20-22)
So yeah, Alhamdulillah :)
4th December was the day that I probably made my bravest decision in my life thus far. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do but it had to be done for my own good.
It has been many many months since the heartache started, many many attempts had been made, many many things unfolded and many many lil lessons learnt that made way to a higher state of emotional & spiritual awakenings.
From it all, I learnt that
1. I CANNOT change anyone without him wantin to change himself or rather, without God willing him to change and be in sync with my thoughts or needs.
2. And what I CAN do is to CHANGE my mindset and BE RESPONSIBLE for how I respond to the person(s) and situations I am involved in. We are us some of us said, the product of our Choices. Either I could choose to be bitter or be better. No doubt these past months were very confusin and tormentin but praise God that I was able to keep faith, seek for guidance and never have I felt more in touch with God and myself than goin through the pains that came with my heart aches.
3. I learnt to listen, reflect and question my needs and be self-reliant though many a times I stumbled and fell and get all upset and panic and felt so lost. Nevertheless hope and faith kept me goin and definitely God's grace and mercy lead the way.
4. Everyday has been a learnin journey with new friendship fostered, dealin with myself and through observations of things that go on ard me. I just cannot help sayin some people and things happened to my life tis year are simply GOD SENT!
5. I felt that God is teachin me a very precious lesson from all these....today it hit me, perhaps all these that happened and those which are still happenin are part of HIJRAH for myself. Hijrah in essence whereby one seeks for a better situation. Tis is thus then my Jihad.
So I shall remind myself here, that I must not lose focus or be gripped again by my nafs to cling on to people and situations that are EMOTIONALLY & PSYCHOLOGICALLY DRAINING. Rather I should focus in puttin my ENERGY into POSITIVE endeavours and gettin myself to PRIORITISE servin the Lord above all else, makin Islam not simply an act of worship but rather embrace it as the way of my life.
Just gotta remember:
"Those who believe, and migrate and strive in Allah’s cause, with their goods and their persons, have the highest rank in the sight of Allah: they are indeed the successful people. Their Lord does give them glad tidings of a Mercy from Himself, of His good pleasure, and of Gardens where enduring pleasure will be theirs: They will dwell therein forever. Verily in Allah’s presence is a reward, the greatest (of all)." (Al-Tawbah 9: 20-22)
So yeah, Alhamdulillah :)
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