Convert?

I remember one amusing question a close friend of mine asked when she saw me donnin a hijab on my birthday. At that point it sounded funny but today I think her question made sense.

Did I convert?
Initially i went hmmmm?? but it is actually YES. 
My heart was converted.
To submit more to my Rabb.

Today I am reminded to not limit God. Just because of how limited the amount of worship I could offer to the Lord or that I have sinned so much, it does not mean that God will withhold His blessings for that little or that much that I have done for Him...rather I should keep faith in His Divine abundance of blessings...ask ask ask for forgiveness & goodness...seek seek seek God!

Also to always reflect & express gratitude for whatever I am blessed with despite having to go through one of the toughest challenges in my life. Acknowledge God's blessings, give thanks and God will provide more. Believe in that!

Always HUMBLE oneself to God & Be Courageous with People.

Thank u my Lord for enriching me today through Your words spoken by men of faith. Thank you for YouTube! hahah! I shall continue seeking You & be a better person & servant despite again & again falling into heedlessness & errors. Shut not my opportunities to learn & be closer to You just yet my Lord, for I am just about to begin tis journey with You. Shed away these shades of darkness in me bit by bit, may someday You fill my soul completely & return to You with Your Light.

I pray the same or even better for my loved ones to have such a beautiful journey with You too...today...some day...one day...may their hearts rejoice in being conscious of You! Ameen!  
 
 

In Loving Memory

Perhaps that's where I stay now and days ahead,
Together with what ifs & could have beens.

Out of sight but not out of mind only.
 
 

 

Do You?

Feel as wrecked as I do?
Sure to err is human but to be remorse, learn from it, STAND UP and make things right is HUMAN too.

Will you? 

Nevertheless I refuse to be a victim of your circumstances and I pray for the Lord to grant us strength to overcome what needs to be done and keep us guided in the right path in tis journey of love.
 
 

Live Life And Move On

Just when this heart was feelin so wrecked & heavy,
Angels sent me their love & prayers unexpectedly...
Masya Allah....
Thank you my Lord

Indeed You listened and put ease in my hardship...how beautiful is it to go through all these and be drawn only closer to You tis Ramadhan...I shall pay the deeds forward with a lil prayer too. Please bless all my loved ones who are strugglin in their daily lives, jugglin their responsibilities towards their families while tryin their best to better themselves in servin You, my Lord with much patience, steadfastness, ease and serenity of the heart, mind and soul. 

Amin.

Boundary

The nicer the person usually the greater the problems they have with boundaries. 

It is very important for those around us to experience the consequences their own actions.

Why am I being hopelessly hopeful despite being time & time again violated mentally & emotionally? Why oh heart you keep wanting to hold on when we know the situation is screamin at me to Get Out?? 

I do know what I want and what needs to be done for myself and of the other party to make it work again and yes oh so many times tis heart aches & breaks cos we are not on the same page but it feels like we are not done yet.

I am following my heart & constantly praying for God to keep guiding me to take the right path & lead me to that Bliss eventually yet it feels like it is not right for me to be in a hurry...it feels like there are still lessons in store for me, and in that I seek to implement Sabr in my struggles & for continuous flow of Guidance & more Clarity to make the right moves. Yes again and again and again, I rage, I rant, I grief yet there is always that nagging feeling to forgive and try again and again and again. WHY?? Do i not learn my lesson?!

Are these thoughts, guts & actions of mine simply excuses or denials, my Lord? Is it really because so that I don't have to face the fact that I have to break bonds to set myself free from mistreatment or disrespect? Am I really allowing another human to step on me by being tis vulnerable to open & learn from all these that You have arranged for us, ya Rabb?? If tis is the one thing that I am so weak at or tis is one of the Biggest lesson to learn in my life, keep showing me the way to overcome it & figure it out, my Lord...so that I do not transgress myself and those who truly love me.Help me save myself from bein a victim to becomin a victor against others who patronise me & my own doing.

"La ila ha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu mina dzalimin"

 

Strength in Numbers

32.

Thrown off tangent, smacked right out of the comfort zone & utterly derailed yet I know from all the pains & helplessness, I am not alone in my struggles.

This life is Divinely planned, this journey a personal affair but He sends me Angels & glad tidings to live strong & keep faith moment by moment, step by step each living day.


Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar.