Lowest Point

The happiest time tis week was probably today, when Mesye and I double dated Raf & Mr Fyz to look for my Mother's Day gift in town, had yummy Nasi Ayam Bakar@Lucky Plaza and choco-fix@Max Brenner.

Tis week has been really tough for me. my first week of full-time research work has been rather umm Shitty. yes, i haven't had a good time at work, been strugglin since Day 1. 1st assignment for the day was to do subculturin of 2 cell lines, start cell lysis, overnite bacterial culture for miniprep and BCA assay on some proteins with minimal guidance. i was lost, i panicked, i can't think...i even screwed up M1V1=M2V2, can u believe it?! the worst part was, i had NO trace of DNA in my agarose gel for my minipreps yet the results usin Nanodrop gave me figures, showin me otherwise, for the past couple of days. What went wrong, I DO NOT KNOW! and my PI was even wonderin if i even pipetted out the small volumes of DNA from my tubes but after that she said, she doubted it was actually due to my pipettin! come next week, i have to subculture more of my cell lines, do transfection (which i have no experience of it at all), obtain cell lysate and probably start on western blotting! ARGHHHHHH!!! i wonder why the hell do i put myself into tis kinda predicament?? i itched for some mental challenge but now it's an OVERLOAD!

One after another, the load juz keeps on piling...it comes to a point that every day, i juz wanna go home and sleep after work and my report writin is stalled. and i'm totally knocked out before the clock even strikes midnite. Boohoohooooo....

Tomorrow, i'm gonna be visitin my dad's grave for the first time since his burial. i heard from my mum that his headstone actually collapsed when my uncle took a look at his grave on Labour Day, since it was rather rainy then. it broke my heart hearin that cos my mum n i was not able to take a look then. but i guess, what matters most is the prayers that we constantly dedicate to him, not really his grave. the grave is juz material that covers his rottin body but it is the prayers and my conduct, that will probably keep me connected to his soul although he is already in a different world.

oh well, no matter how sucky the next few days, weeks or even months can be, i have to remain patient and soldier on, right? tis was what my daddy taught me and tis is probably how God has chosen to test me, probably to test my faith or as a way to atone my sins...Wallahu a'lam...a kind stranger told my mother to remind me of tis Ayat in the Quran:

"On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets everything that it earns, and upon it is everything that it reaps....." [Al-Baqarah:286]

May God bless that kind dude and so i shall pray along...

"...Our Lord, Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error. Our Lord Lay not on us a burden like that which You laid on those before us. Our Lord Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us. And grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector. Grant us victory over the unbelievers." [Al-Baqarah:286]