The Cracks in my Inner Mirror

 
What do u noe....another Saturday is here. Another stay in Saturday, to work on report. 5 down, my mates, and 10 more to go. Past 2 reports have been pretty much a breeze compared to what's gonna be dealt with in these next few days. Yes yes, the bloody chemistry prac reports!

Earlier today, a friend and I decided to check out a Kickboxin workshop at MDIS gym, since it's their Open House but the instructor didn't turn up! For that, we got free acces to the gym and attended the Yoga workshop instead! Whooopey~~~

It's been a long while since I did any yoga, the last time I remember, was to torture the bellydance babes with the Plank, Cobra poses and all that's in the Sun Salutation...haa so today's session was rejuvenatin! Luv the good stretchin n focusin! Learnt a new pose that's quite challengin, i didn't really get the name of the pose but it starts with a squat position, and i have to place my hands in front of me and support my thigh as i move my chest forward, eventually i need to lift BOTH my feet off the ground and balance juz usin my hands! I felt like a crouchin frog, and i can only stay in the pose for like 1 freakin second! The instructor cautioned me to go sellloowwlyyy...hee i'm juz too impatient! i'll have to try again n be more focused! heheh! see my friend did it!

Caught performances too at the canteen...ooo i didnt realise we've got quite a handful of Hip Hoppers...not bad at all, i especially enjoyed the performances by tis group called LUSH (in 2nd dance pic)! Nice!

 

Ahh yes, caught up with Hafi & Dee last nite after handin up our reports. Ended up in Vivo, havin dinner at Banquet and then followed by a rewardin Ben & Jerry's ice-cream treat for ourselves. LoL Hafi wanted all the Aussie juice n finally she got it..yeah yeah...bitch bitch all the dramas that were still left in our heads..hah it's almost a month since we came back, but lotsa memories are so close in our hearts. I also decided to share with them abt this "First Impression" workshop I attented a couple of days back.

I must thank my dance company for arrangin such, cos honestly i'm really uncultured in the social department...gee i can't even tell what the hell is the difference between Casual Pants & Business pants for guys, cos i see them both as BLACK (the examples shown in demo)! Good Lord, thank u for the workshop...really really educational for me! I didn't realise that Image is really critical, i mean...for me, i dun give a shit, i wear what i feel like i wanna wear but yeah unfortunately, image plays a big role in creatin impressions, and for people like me who do not like make-up, it is Not good in a work setting, cos people have the impression that u r new/a fresh blood in the company/business, or juz simply no one with authority. Such is people & bias that we tend to perceive. Haiyahh bloody leceh ah.make-up always do wonders: they create Illusions and don't people simply LUV to be DECEIVED?!!

Besides personal grooming and basic social etiquettes, the workshop also touched on Communication. We had a test on how to measure one's sensitivity..and Guess what, out of 3 my score was 0! The instructor said people like me are Insensitive and most times, we dun even realise sometimes we hurt others. Indeed indeed...i have to agree. Alot of times, it's been pointed out by my bf, my mum and a few close friends.... I am cold, I need to have more empathy, I dun think for other people's feeling, I'm too "fierce"...they all haunt me! And really tis side of me scares me esp. when the instructor asked "What if u have such good friends, but because of ur insensitivity, u lose those good friends?" those words keep ringin in my ears again n again n again...My inability to pick up little hints and people's body language can be really damagin not only for myself as well as relationships! Imagine I'm a mum next time, yet I cannot get through to my child? I cannot see n understand the little little signs he/she shows when sad, troubled or angry...or i dunno how to react to those things, I might juz end up lookin either ridiculous or hopeless! Gosh! I can't juz say I'm sorry right? There's somethin that needs to be done, to make me feel more, react better...and i hope, the next followin workshops (which i dunno when) will help me a lil bit more to overcome tis! 

I feel so pathetic again over tis...it's like a black cloud lingerin over my head that doesn't really go away...Hmm to those of u, whom i have ever hurt throughout the time u have known me, and i seem to be unaware abt it, please tell me in the face! and i apologise for my insensitive nature... and i'm really Thankful that my loved ones never did really gave up on me...really REALLY i am...and also i am thankful that i found people who are really thoughtful n sensitive whom i can get inspired from and learn from in tis matter...without u, i'd probably do a worse self-damage than i already am!