Tuesday 8 July 2014

The Brutality of Bravery

Point blank.
Gunned.
Felt like i committed murder.

Like you i asked myself again...is that it?
Honestly, i hate it but i had to do it.
Puttin myself in the unknown, the consequence one day and many more days ahead i shall bear alone.
Yes mum, family, friends and more will always be around me but i bear the pain, the grief, the madness alone.

Perhaps it is my reluctance to be soft hearted despite the attempts you make to ease my pain or romance me off my feet that turned you off completely but how do i stay in tis covenant with broken trust & blatant unfaithfulness?

I will not lie to my own heart. I need to live & love sincerely. Happy & Bliss was you & me only. That is over. What you don't understand is I don't need to be appeased nor pitied, now I choose to have only a life partner who would love & stay true to me for the sake of the Lord as how I would stay true to him likewise, and to hell with insecurity. Cos that insecurity breeds jealousy. They give me bad allergy. I no longer have that confidence we are going to work anymore so it is time to break this tiresome cycle and embrace life anew.

Lord, on tis nite of Ramadhan, i pray that if yesterday was the worst day of our lives, please make our days ahead to be better. I shall resolve to continually trust Your plans and try to keep myself together.

We unite by Your grace and possibly part by Your mercy that which gave me strength to stand up for my worth & dignity. I can no longer smile and have no gratitude for him....Lord, forgive me and please guide me. Thank You, Lord for givin me the courage to establish my boundary.



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