Alhamdulillah!
Tonite I smile in reflection. 5 more days & it will be 2 years since he left me & mum but it's amazing how he still make me get out of my comfort zone & push boundaries. I remember, one of the first things he made me do while i was juz a young child was to order food myself. I don't like it..I don't like to open my mouth to food sellers(except at fast food where there's proper queue) with the mentality that adults always don't take notice of children & priorities other adults' orders first! I'd always try to buy time hopin he'll give in but No, if i don't order the food on my own, no food will be served. He won't budge and he will be eatin his own while i stare & contemplate & finally decide to wise up before i go hungry. I use to feel resentful & some times feel unloved...i'm juz a child!
And he used to stack a whole bunch of assessment books for me to practise Maths. Now, he made me stare at & calculate figures on paper & internet & do lotsa enquiries over things I have zero knowledge or rather not associate myself with. oh how i do not like calculating & seeing numbers & making queries sounding like a total bimbo yet once again, i have to face the challenges. At times i really feel like throwin everythin away & juz don't care but i noe i have to be responsible & do what is right & be an Adult.
Some times it feels like i crawled too far in the rabbit's hole, feeling lost, grabbling & fumbling abt in the darkness on my own but i'm really glad that i have an ever supportive hunny bunny who'd give me an "enery pack" to boost myself through the journey, an ever disciplined mummy who would push me on, a patient bunch of aunts & uncles who would await me to emerge from that dark hole & most of all, i am ever thankful that the Lord has always shone me Light to find my way out, out of the difficult path.
So here i am today, smiling & knowing that my father has left me some Wealth.
A wealth of gumption & guts & sweet faith for my survival.
And a Legacy..a legacy of his undying spirit to push boundaries & acquiring knowledge.
Thank u Abah & Thank u dear Lord...
My mesye is a strong willed girl!
ReplyDeleteAwww cuzzin... This entry made me tear up...
ReplyDeleteI am so proud and honoured to be ur cousin and a niece to a great man, cuz. ((HugZ))
I second that Iyuan..cuzzin I've always seen u as a strong n independent gyrl and at times used u as an example..
ReplyDeleteBeing at the kenduri n reciting the yasin just now simply reminded me of those loved ones who left us..I'm pretty sure they are in a better place now..arwah Pak uda was a wonderful man n he did a good job in bringin up a wonderful daughter.. =)
The baton has passed. Time to build up your own legacy Madame.
ReplyDelete-hugs- u are called a Madame for a reason. Always strong yet soft at the right times. -hugs-
ReplyDeleteYou have turned into a fine young woman all thanks to him..Alhamdullillah! Stay strong babe! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteiyuan: thank u for always remindin me that i can pull through the challenges & supportin me when i feel like crumbling away, my love :)
ReplyDeletesitz: aww tear pulak...((hug)) i'm proud to be ur cuzzin too...guess life's lil lessons could really turn out to be some kinda blessing when we look back in time after we survive our "ordeals"
boneeta: insya Allah i hope their souls are blessed & resting in peace...thank u if u see me like a role model to build up ur spirit. i too learn from u dear, i guess we cuzzins are meant to be survivors of life's Disasters...insya Allah...so long we keep faith & support each other, we'd stay afloat while facing adversities...we shall stay strong together :)
prodigic: yes...workin towards that...insya Allah :)
deesdaily: aww thank u dee...that sounds like my late father...a strong silent figure who provide warmth at the right time too ((hugs))
rauhdah: Alhamdulillah i try my best to be one(still learning to be more..emm..womanly, this one daddy didn't teach..heh) ...thank u rauhdah! ((hug))
it's wonderful you have all the support you needed...your mom and yourself will pull it through...amin
ReplyDeleteu go, girl! :)
ReplyDeletenebride: yes Alhamdulillah it is the support that help me as i tread forward...thank u...amin!
ReplyDeleteevlewt: wheee
**hugs** your abah is smiling at you from above, ;) you are a good doter sis..
ReplyDeletemy alfateha to arwahnya..amin ;)
so r u my dear LJ ((hug))
ReplyDeleteal-fateha to ur late dad too...amin :)
thank you my dear sweets..((hugs soph)) ;)
ReplyDelete*hugz* Al Fateha to your late dad, Sophie. =)
ReplyDelete((hug)) thank u babe :)
ReplyDelete