Wednesday 23 April 2008

Abah's no longer by my side but Allah is!

A year ago, he left tis world in the early mornings of a Monday. Recalling is traumatising. But the fact & reality of him being no longer present physically with mum & I, have since sunken in & accepted yet we are walkin through life with chin up, carryin his spirit within us...

I am not here to talk abt how sad or painful it was copin all these times but I wanna share somethin that might be helpful for us, who will eventually pass on or face the death of our loved ones.

My father's passing brings alot of lessons. I remember my uncle sayin tis to me, "Supi, tis is it. U will have a lot to handle but stay Patient. We know u will face some difficulties/challenges, take ur time...U will LEARN in the process. And from all these, who noes u can share with others what u have experienced."

From being clueless, i somehow have gained some knowledge through experience & class abt handling estate(monetary & properties of the deceased) issues & Faraid. People don't really like to deal with this issue (esp. Me!) cos when it comes to money & properties, it is emm..sensitive. Another thing, for Muslims, we are governed by the Shariah's way of distributing the assets, so it can be a lil troublesome for us, especially if we have no clue whatsoever how it works through the Islamic laws. But let's face it. These things cannot be avoided and it is best to get it all settled as soon as possible. Although it is easy to say a.s.a.p., sometimes with many financial commitments & investments by the decesed, especially here in Singapore, where our money is even "kept" by the Govt, Faraid can really be mind-boggling!

Here I would like to share some tips and suggestions so that when that day comes, insya Allah, these matters will not be a great burden to all who will face them.

In my father's case, he did not make any nominations for the beneficiery of his CPF money..so zoom, all go straight to the Public Trustee to handle. Other matters, such as money in bank accounts, invested shares and insurance policies can either be claimed by bringin on documents such as Death Certificates & Letter of Administration (best to employ a lawyer). For a "financial idiot" like me, all these admistrative stuff are really Overwhelming!

So my tips/suggestions before u pass away, PLAN for it and: 

1. GET ORGANISED!
Please have a habit of organising important documents (birth certs, death certs of kins, loan documents, investment portfolio, insurance policies, bank statements/books etc.) into folders that are easily retrieved.

2. Either choose ur beneficiery for ur CPF money OR let Public Trustee handle it (the latter is actually recommended by my Ustaz, because Public Trustee will do a good job sifting through all required documents before releasing the money-hurhur trust me, i concur cos my case is still not closed!) 
Point to note tho, for a Muslim, if u happen to be the one chosen to be the beneficiery, it doesn't mean that all the money goes solely to u. U r actually holding the responsibility of being the Trustee to actually distribute the money to the appropriate beneficieries.

3. Write a will on
(a)how/what the family should do with the estate that u have left behind esp. those who wants to give away some of their assets to their Non-Muslim family members or someone not related/not amg the rightful beneficieries through Faraid, it IS possible and as much as 1/3 of ur assets can be given away.
(b) where to find certain things that might be kept unknown to family members 
(c)list of outstanding issues (eg. loans, religious matters such as skipped fasts, haj etc.)

4. On insurance plans & Dependent Protection Scheme (DPS)
Pls ensure that u know what insurance plans that u r signing up during the time u live because there are some forms of insurance that are proposed to be Haram (eg. Life Insurance) due to certain reasons (pls do some reading on the fatwa if u wanna noe more..MUIS site, Google). Money from DPS can be taken & has been ruled to be Halal as it is a cooperative scheme (can also find info in MUIS' site).

If u r the next of kin, handling the death matters (religious obligations,burial, estate/assets) of your loved ones, pls REMEMBER & PRIORITISE gettin these things settled in the sequence such as below:

1. Use the deceased money(if he/she has enough) to settle the preparations for & the burial itself

2. Settle the deceased religious obligations (eg. Haj if he/she could afford with his/her wealth, skipped fast, zakats etc.)

3. Settle any forms of debts (his/her debts or getting back the money he/she lent to others)

4. Settle his/her Will

5. Faraid the remaining assets to Ahli Waris, rightful beneficieries

I guess these are some of the basic things that I could share with u on the eve of my late father's passing. As we become more financially-savvy in order to attain or maintain financial stability but as Muslims, we have to exercise our responsilibities. Though it can be rather tedious, troublesome to juggle between the laws of the world & Allah's laws...Remember, in Allah we trust, and pray to him for lotsa patience & guidance to balance & settle these affairs...

Allahummagh firlahum warhamhum wa afihim wa'fu anhum

34 comments :

  1. alfateha to ur late abah....

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  2. thank u kak ratu, may Allah bless his soul & u, for ur kind prayers :)

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  3. thnks for sharing love
    its very true indeed...
    *hugs soph*

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  4. no worries at all winn dearie
    ((hug))
    miss u babe!

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  5. May Allah bless you, your family and your late father. Learn something new today. Thanks for sharing

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  6. Insya Allah..thank u bro. May u & family be blessed by Allah always too :)

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  7. prayers for you late dad and your family...and thanks for sharing this with us...x

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  8. hi Soph.. tks for sharing the useful tips.. yeap these are the things we chose to ignore, but somehow have to face it no matter wat.. its just a matter of time.. ~ponder~
    my prayers to your late dad soph.. May his soul be blessed and placed among the pious ones.. amin, insya-allah.
    ~hugs~

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  9. alfatehah to ur late dad..
    tis is really an eye opener..
    in life death is expected but in a least way we dunno when it is..
    ignorance is bliss but i guess its sumting that not many choose to talk about it.
    in spore or in our context of malay culture n living, wasiat or indicating a will is very rare.
    ive faced few deaths in my family myself but we usually dun go into the aftermath of it frequently but my arwah nenek's was a fruitful one when on her 1st tahlil nite, my uncle took out a book, mind you, its a normal jotter book yg budak skola pakai. inside my arwah nenek wrote what she deem fit to all of us, esp her children, her last words.
    and she wrote it in jawi sumore...simple yet decisive.
    urs is good to make me ponder n discuss more with yazid of what is deem fit for our future...thank you. @hugs@

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  10. excellent pointers. thanks for sharing! May Allah bless you, your family and your late daddy.

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  11. Thanks for sharing dear. Al-fatehah for your late Dad & May Allah's blessings shower you and your family...(hugs)

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  12. thanks for sharing sophie... i didnt know before that signing up for life insurance was haram until now... i think i better go cancel my plan..
    i went through a few of the same things as you did when my father had a stroke 5 years ago. it was really really tough... kepala sampai nak explode.
    my prayers to your late dad and may Allah bless his soul. *hugs*

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  13. thank u for the info kak supi..
    it has already been 1 yr..
    im here for u as much as u are here for me..
    -hugs-
    -alfateha untuk arwah pak uda-

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  14. I'm proud of u for being so strong all these while cuz and in that process you even share the lessons you've learnt. Thank you.

    And true to Kak Liza's words... I'm here for u as well for anything k.

    ~Alfateha~

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  15. thanks for sharing soph...prayers for our dads..yub allah is almighty indeed ;)
    ((hugss)))

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  16. hey everyone, thank u for all ur prayers & well wishes especially those who have been with me, givin me warmth & support all tis while :)
    May Allah bless all of u & urs too!

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  17. Alhamdulillah!
    wow that's somethin for me to consider as well. thank u Sheida for sharin what u have experienced too :)
    ((hug))

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  18. hey finah, there's 2 school of thoughts regarding tis life insurance issue, haram or halal pretty debatable...some say it is like putting a price for ur life, some say it is a "cushion" for the family members to fall back on and others say that we do not know the source of where the money comes from (riba' & might be haram source) while there's some life insurance that comes from a cooperative(khairat) basis. but most times, everythin is pretty grey so to be on the safe side, yeah dun take up lah.

    hee yes..these $ issues..HEADACHE! but insya Allah..slowly it'll resolve...blessed u be too babe ((hug))

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  19. very informative pointers u've got, Sophie....thx!
    Insya Allah, u dad is in a better place...

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  20. ya...its been a year..dats fast right?
    thanks for reminding me on this....
    ya like what you said..its best to organise it NOW...do all the right things NOW...before its too late.
    Faraid is sucha pening-kepala issue....end up ada yang suka + ada yang duka....
    adik beradik gaduh pon ade....
    I can see that you very very miss your late Dad.
    I do hope things are gettin betta each and everyday that you lead with your Mom.

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  21. alfateha..semuga roh nya ditmptkan disisi org2 yg beriman..amin..

    time flies so fast...n thks for sharing this info

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  22. hayabusababe: Insya Allah babe..thank u..

    israixora: yes..that is the keyword: NOW! what u said are so true babe...headache headache!! but alhamdulillah, so far so good despite sangkut sangkut. definitely miss him, sis..most definitely. and thank u for ur doa. amin & insya Allah :)

    nikita07: yeaps a year wheezed by juz like that! thank u for the kind prayers :)

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  23. alfatehah to ur late dad..
    we faced a similar situation with my late maternal grandfather.
    his death was sudden and of course my grandma was unaware of all his assets etc...
    its even more bureaucratic in Indo

    the reality is we need to plan, but we cant bring ourselves to do so because its so morbid to think of death (especially since we are so young heheh)
    (well I speak for myself on this one)

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  24. erhh yeah...here i only deal with documents, down there in indo..there's land, livestocks also to consider..haiyoh lagi headache eh!

    hehe true lah! u noe when i wanted to publish this, i was afraid people might think i'm a lil morbid but hey, we never noe when we will face a death any time soon (ours or our loved ones)..one step at a time la i guess.hah i think the getting organised bit, will be a good start (for me at least!). hee

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  25. prayers fer ur dad. im sure u are a strong person to have gone thru the period n of coz mind-boggled by faraid law n such.

    anyway tell me abt the headache man.
    even when my bro passed away last year, we already pening kepala. coz the his kids were not yet 21 so we hav to give them their share in instalments monthly till they are of legal age.
    then comes the ex wife, yg have no rights wotsoeva. dat one lagik pening n klaka actually.

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  26. may Allah bless ur late bro's soul babe...

    oh wow, case of minors! so how long gotta "hold" on to their money for them babe? and the ex-wife? supposedly yeah la, no share if according to faraid, rite? but did ur family gave her anythin? tis is interesting...hish but i'm also pretty sure it was actually really tough to handle.

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  27. May Allah merahmati ur dad's soul. Thanks for the info. Take care.

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  28. Slm.Al-fatehah untuk abah.Hw r u n mum?

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  29. thank u :)
    we r copin well, alhamdulillah

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  30. Ok Sophie... this came in wayyyyy tooo late.....

    I came across this post of yours on Reza's wall.

    Alhamdulillah, you've grown stronger after your dad's passing.
    And i hope Reza and Ain will be just as strong, they will i am sure.

    Al-fatehah to both your dad and Reza's mum....

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  31. Hey babe!

    Great to hear ur response! Alhamdulillah...am coping well, i am also prayin the same for my cuzzin's family.
    Thank u so much for the prayers :)

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