Despite turnin quite the cynic...I really cannot fathom why I put my self again in the path of uncertainty at a greater risk at the very mention of HELP and u came back by my side askin for more time for change to take place.
What the hell was that about? And since then I have feelings of both euphoria and anxiety. Inhalin Gratitude and Exhalin Love is a day to day process I have to learn & take steps towards u before i could again Inhale Love and Exhale Gratitude.
I have always believed that underneath the bad choices or attitude, probably lies a hurt person waitin to shine positively so how could I take things so personally especially when what bothered me were triggers mainly?
Dear Lord, grant us strength to restore and rebuild if it is meant to be. Let us learn, give & receive each other in the most beautiful ways through this journey. Just when I was seein the end, again You grant us unexpected help. Let us be with each other only to reach out deep within ourselves to love You and cherish Your mercy & grace. Let us not deviate from the right path with Your guidance.
Sunday 17 August 2014
Saturday 2 August 2014
Questions & Invitations
Is it me who is the insensitive one who keep pushing for change, hoping to improve the situation, hoping to receive affirmation or communication but only to make it feel like rubbing dirt in ur face further?
Perhaps I have changed for the worse towards us but better for myself. I asked my self again n again...is tis self-love or narcissism? It is said that when people truly love, they can overcome thinking about their needs and put others' needs before their own. I used to do that and I used to love so easily now I feel like a cynic, closing off my heart to stop further hurt and feel like the world is closin in on me when I try to share what I feel are important and require attention/decision but only to be met with silence instead of lively discussion.
Feel safe or like I belong no longer though hope harbours. Unfortunately deadline is drawing nearer. Makes me anxious & nervous everyday but then of course again & again, there is no compulsion in love nor religion...just invitations to walk the same way.
Perhaps I have changed for the worse towards us but better for myself. I asked my self again n again...is tis self-love or narcissism? It is said that when people truly love, they can overcome thinking about their needs and put others' needs before their own. I used to do that and I used to love so easily now I feel like a cynic, closing off my heart to stop further hurt and feel like the world is closin in on me when I try to share what I feel are important and require attention/decision but only to be met with silence instead of lively discussion.
Feel safe or like I belong no longer though hope harbours. Unfortunately deadline is drawing nearer. Makes me anxious & nervous everyday but then of course again & again, there is no compulsion in love nor religion...just invitations to walk the same way.
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