Mid April is here, and soon May will come rushin in, and that will be the month of fresh changes for me. New career move and end of report writing, which marks an unofficial "graduation" for me, granted that I make it through for Organic Chemistry. Dee and I are both prayin hard that we will go through the Convocation this July together with Hafi & Liza.
I'm kinda excited but at the same time, wonderin if these changes will transit through smoothly. One thing for sure is, I now cannot always be there to be with bf durin his off days, I dunno if we can adjust back well, but i guess sacrifices are inevitable...sorry mesye if u have to spend more time with ur computer instead in future! Well, my happy-go-lucky prancin about has to make way for more serious endevours in my Life. With studies gettin out of my sight, i got a feelin that new goals/directions have to be drawn to keep me from becomin disoriented.
A couple of days ago, my dad beckoned me to be by his side. He gave me a lil squeeze, and asked "When r u gonna start workin?" so i replied him i would be doin so next month. Told him abit about the job and location and he asked "So u r not gonna further ur studies?" I was kinda surprised by that question. My reply was "U want me to? Well i can...i'd have to be in Aussieland for a year, to complete my Master's. U want me to?" Then he replied, "If u keep studyin then when r u gonna work?" I looked at him lookin even more perplexed than previously. "Well, for now i guess I'll work first, maybe in future I might continue some more" before i scoot off to my room. I have a certain suspicion that there was an underlyin message that he wants to tell me when he asked such things.
Does he wants to know my plans after my graduation or is he hintin that I'm already old, that I should be making money and supportin myself?
Or is he tryin to hint that I should earn money n get married soon (the question which NEVER pops up btw)??
Or is it...his time is comin??? *shudder*
The third thought is scary but such a thought always haunts me. I hope it's not any time soon, for any of my parents or granny. I have not achieved enough yet to make them proud of me. In their eyes, I am always the lazy n always gallivantin person that I have always potrayed. They have not seen the more responsible side of me, and I wish I could show them that I am not that useless a daughter/granddaughter I have always been.
But for now, as a new beginnin is about to unfold, I guess I should prepare myself for the changes and I kinda gave it some thoughts already. Juz like how I have planned it through from workin full-time, jumpin on the degree and gettin myself back onto the career bandwagon. I shall fill my days to come by workin towards marriage, gettin myself more domesticated, seekin wisdom back with my Quran and keepin abreast with my dancin.
My life is about to begin, again.
and i could only thank God for the wonderful turn of things...and hope that He will give me the strength, will & perseverance to take on this path that He has led me to.
