Havin gone to Bali, i should be feelin refreshed but apparently, the trip left me with an aftertaste, as bittersweetly weird as the Coffee Cream Soda that I drank over there. Readin blogs of personal struggles of my contacts, reminiscin life in Sydney, thinkin of where I have been and what much I have Not accomplished and reflectin on the current state that I am in, only make me teary-eyed and longing for a life more settled down & smooth. I fell sick and somehow the road to recovery took a lil long, physiologically and psychologically. Every day I woke up hopin that I am Not wakin up to uncertainties and devoid of joyous feeling. That was juz a wish, a dream.
Reality is much abt strugglin to fight the crumblin feelin inside and it's beautiful how some people, moments, spark inspirations and u got hit by them like some kinda tidal wave, that ur life is back uplifted with Joy & Euphoric feeling.
And today, i juz realised that I am not missin moments anymore but relishin moments that I have lived my dream to surf. I have no idea why I have been dyin to surf since I was in Secondary school...and i did it at a ripe age of 26, ten years since I dreamed on gettin on a surf board. And upon recallin the moments I had, fightin the waves, paddlin out into the sea and gettin myself on board back after I was hit by the waves or reach ashore, I realised that struggles in life are juz like the oncomin waves, that hit u all the time whenever u wanna ride a good wave to surf and try standin on the board. u get hit by waves, u get entangled, and u swallowed salty icky waters juz to feel that gratifyin feelin when u stand on that board & feel the breeze in ur hair and ride on the waves.
Life's like that. U struggle to get over the tides and for the Believer that I am, God's like my surfboard that u cling on to, u gotta carry Him with(in) u as u paddle away to ride the tides of life and faith is like the cord that always keep u grounded and not so distant from Him, whenever the waves get too rough and u get knocked off. Masya Allah...
I am motivated, I am a surfer.